Autobiogrophy 2 - draft one
When I was in elementary school, I used to be a member of rhythm band and I played Pianica. Therefore I got an instrument certificate of Pianica. Before graduating from school, we participated a music contest, fortunately, we got the champion. As the saying goes,” Where there is a will, there is a way.”, we made a great efforts for this contest indeed. From this experience of contest, I realized that the team spirit is necessary for all kinds of group.
I have decided to study Foreign Applied Language after graduating from vocational high school. From now on, I'll not fool around any more because I have fallen behind others too much. In order to make my ideal goal come true, I think I have to switch into high gear to take pains studying hard. I'll go all out in the Entrance Examination in order to enter my ideal college.

7 Comments:
嗯,簡潔有力。
學經歴可以再寫多一點。
沒什麼錯
第三段應該要多一些高中生涯的介紹
WOW!
I don’t know you can play the Pianica.
You are so 厲害.
找不到什麼問題!!
we participated in a music contest
我覺得高中地方可以多一點
excellent!I believe you can make it.
Foreign Applied Language
=> applied foreign language 好像順一點
I think there is no mistake.
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